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Parenting 101 – 10 Keys to Raising Children
Every adult who has children knows that it is a challenging and very rewarding experience, especially when the children grow up to be responsible, independent, caring, capable adults and parents in their own right. After helping raise my own children, being a martial arts instructor since 1979, teaching thousands of children and helping other parents raise their children (so they tell me), here are the keys 10 that I feel are important to raising children successfully.
Kids need a leader, someone strong, responsible, caring and committed to the highest and best. What children don’t need is to parent their parents. Children do not need to be friends, best friends or best friends with their parents until they, the children, grow up. Children are children. They need leaders to lead, direct and guide them through their early lives. Those leaders are parents who need to take the front line in raising their children. For children to be successful in life they need a strong parenting foundation, one that puts them ahead of their parenting duties, activities, relationships and parenting jobs. Children should not be thought of as accessories to a parent’s life. Until the children are of legal age, children in parent’s life When this commitment is given to children, it is beneficial to their early development and later success as responsible and independent adults.
Children need organization. They need basic instructions. They need to know what they can and cannot do. They need to know that if they go outside the boundaries of the system set for them there will be consequences. If they stay within the boundaries, everything is copacetic.
Life and society are governed by laws and rules—moral, moral, social, family, national and spiritual. This is the way of life. When rules and regulations are not established early on, children learn to disrespect them because they have not been taught to respect or live by them before. Therefore, they are at risk of becoming lawless, rebellious and, possibly, troubled adults. Therefore, the home, and the karate studio in the personal case, should introduce clear rules to create the order needed for the basic structure in which everyone thrives, succeeds and learns how to manage the boundaries of life. life in all its aspects.
3. Cause and Effect
In accordance with the structural aspects of children’s lives, they must understand that every cause has a result (effect), that every action has a reaction, and that the wise man always looks at the consequences of his actions. before that you make them. Cause and effect is the law of life. It’s not just a nice idea. No one is exempt from the law of cause and effect, and when children don’t grow up with an understanding of this very basic and essential law of life they run into a brick wall at high speed. Nothing good will happen in a person’s life if, as a child, they are not taught that every cause has an effect. Good actions create good results; bad actions create bad results. A life of causes without consequences is an illusion and a harbinger of hardships and problems to come.
Discipline is the key to success. A garden that is not regularly maintained, watered, watered, mowed, mowed and trimmed into an irregular and uncontrolled growth of weeds, vines, bushes, trees and grass. Life can exist without discipline but it will not be a good life any more than a garden left unattended will remain beautiful. When children are born they represent life in its purest, most beautiful and innocent form. In order for them to do that, we must teach children to discipline them, to think before they act, to use self-control and judgement. An undisciplined horse, for example, is a dangerous animal, but when trained to be calm, disciplined and controlled it can be an excellent helper, resource, companion and friend. Undisciplined children are at risk of growing up to not only look like unruly dogs but also like wild horses that are out of control and very dangerous to themselves and others. A simple look at the lives of many celebrities shows the destruction of people thrown on the rocks of an undisciplined life.
One of the most important principles of a successful life is this: There is life; our responsibility. By the same token, as we are raising children it is important that parents continue to reinforce these phrases in their youth so that when they grow up it will appear: It is your life; it is your responsibility.
My children will always be welcome in my home, as I am sure your children will be in yours. This is how loving families work. This said, in order to ensure that children have successful lives they must be made aware that their lives are their responsibility and they need to grow into that mindset. What happens when the parents are no longer in the community? What happens when they die? If children are void of their responsibility for their own lives, what then? It is the love of parents that makes children responsible. To test this, just ask yourself as a parent, “What if my children were trapped on their own desert island? Could they survive? Would they be strong enough? It is your life; it is your responsibility, they will at least have a fighting chance of survival. However, if they are looking for someone or something to take care of them, the prospect of their survival will be extremely weak.
Many children are not taught this basic life lesson of taking personal responsibility. This is evident because there are many adults who do not understand it or live by it. No matter what anyone wants to believe, no one is responsible for us but us. It is not the government’s responsibility to take care of us. It is not the responsibility of our friends, neighbors, partners, even family if we have grown up to take care of us. It is our sole responsibility. Teaching children to live according to this principle is essential to their well-being and success in life.
6. High scores
For children to understand themselves they must strive for high marks, not medium or low marks. Therefore, parents should set a high bar for their children. Give them something to try and benefit from. In the process they will develop habits, principles and mindsets that will serve them well throughout their lives. In martial arts, we learn, The process is the product. Reaching the Black Belt level is noteworthy, but just because one does not reach such a prestigious level does not mean the lessons learned along the way are lost or useless. Therefore, parents need to set the bar high so that their children can learn to aim high and achieve their goals and in the process foster a sense of confidence gained through strength.
7. Sense of Values
What has happened to those who have knowledge of people in their lives? It seems that our society is more concerned with its indulgences, pleasures and luxuries than its core values. For me as a father, grandfather, teacher and citizen, this is very sad. To live only to indulge, play and enjoy yourself can result in an empty, unimportant life. Great people throughout history have lived by a sense of values and not satisfaction. As the great Dr. Albert Einstein advised: The goal is to raise the spiritual values of the societywe had Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.
Values include but are not limited to: humility, discipline, self-control, patience, kindness, generosity, thoughtfulness, consideration, respect, moderation, honesty, integrity, a strong work ethic and doing what is right instead of what is that is profitable. As the American intellectual, author, journalist, political commentator and Harvard graduate Walter Lippman said in his Introduction to Morals (1929): He has honor if he holds himself to the character description even though it is not easy, unprofitable, or dangerous to do so.. Where is this value today? Something to think about and certainly important for children to know about.
8. The right game
Giving the right rewards at the right time for the right reason is important in raising children. My message to my children and students is this: We do the right thing because it is the right thing to do, not because there is a reward involved. Doing the right thing is your own game. When children learn the simple lesson of life, they do things out of principle and not to expect some material gain. The constant giving of only material rewards such as money, candy, clothes or cars does nothing to continue our children’s behavior, which is the foundation of their lives. Occasionally, outside games are effective, but doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do is the right thing to do when raising children.
9. Appropriate praise
Praise is an important practice when raising children. However, praise should be given when it is appropriate and this means when the child does well, meets a high mark, shows good behavior, etc. Praise the child “just because” it gives him a false impression of himself. Telling a child that they are great when they have behaved badly is a huge injustice to them. Of course, the word “big” is overused in today’s society. Telling someone you’re great when they don’t drop the stick and keep dropping it until there’s no stick to reach, only to step on. The result is that children and society continue to bow down and down, not uplift and ascend.
Having respect for yourself and others is essential to a well-functioning life. However, it is still a little bit different today. For example, adults should not allow children to address them as “man” or “friend” or “hey you.” How would such a child behave in the real world when he applies for a job and calls the boss “man?” What has happened to children referring to an older woman as Mrs., Ms., Miss, Ma’am or an older male as Mr. or Sir? I am very impressed that many young people today do not know how to talk to adults.
Due to the fact that adults are ahead of children in age and experience, they need to be respected by children, not the other way around. The flow of hands goes from child to adult first, there is no other way around. For example, in the military, it is not necessary for an officer to greet a non-military soldier. It is always the responsibility of the junior soldier to pay respect to the superior soldiers. This is life. Who in their right mind would order God to do something or call him a “man?” The same principle applies to students and teachers, players and coaches, children and parents. There is a pattern to life and you need to know and respect it.
Child rearing is demanding. As parents, we all have our ways and means. This article has offered some personal parenting and student training strategies that have worked for me over the course of my time as a father, teacher and grandfather. I don’t claim to have all the right answers but the ones I have given have been successful. I share them only as a way of doing my part to ensure a class of children who become responsible, respectful, independent, whole and healthy adults.
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