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The 3 Cs of Dog Training: Control, Control, Control
do good (thriving) v. to grow or develop in strength and health; thrive
In my mind, a Thriving Canine is a happy, balanced, contented dog who enjoys people and being around people. There are three Cs in raising a successful cane: Control, Control and Control.
- Manage your Dog
- Control the Environment
- Manage Your Emotions
Before going into the details of these 3 controls let’s understand about the word control. “Control” can have a negative meaning or be defined. It falls into the same category as other problematic words that have power like leadership, dominance and even the word command. Many people interpret these words because, to them, it seems that you must rule your dog like a fascist killer.
“I don’t want to do that,” they will say. “I love my dog, I don’t want them to be afraid of me.”
Previously I would have been confused by this apparent softness. “Are people really so soft that I have to tip-toe around every word?” I will ask myself. Then I started running into people on the other side of the spectrum who would misinterpret these words and go overboard like this guy:
“Oh yeah, I know. You have to let your dog know you’re in charge. You have to leave them on the ground and stuff. Yeah, I know that already. If they don’t listen to me I just get this. wood big and they run into the back room, so I know they respect me.”
Well, suffice it to say that I have come to grips with the fact that words are very important, very powerful and using one in another context can have a completely different effect on a conversation with any given person.
Imagine this. You spend two hundred dollars on tickets to a concert for you and your special someone. They turn to you during the show and say, “just like all this shouting and shouting done, I want to talk to you about something”. I think we can all agree that the rules you want will be “song and song.“ Translation?
So, with that, let me just say that the kind of control I’m talking about is not about eating, freezing, based on fear or any other concerns that may arise. I’m not in the business of breaking a dog’s soul. I am in the business of helping people have a long and lasting relationship with their dog. The truth is that dogs actually need and respond positively to it accurate leadership and the three Cs are part of that package. As you will see, the three Cs will not make your dog fear you, they will make your dog love and appreciate you.
Control #1: Your dog This basically has to do with training and socializing your dog. A well-trained dog will be a great companion and a joy to be around. They will allow them in many dog-friendly situations, can enjoy the freedom of being a target, running on the beach, etc. and in a better temperature in general. They obey orders and behave well. The key here is that for this to happen they need to listen to you. Not when they like you or when they know you have a treat, but whenever and wherever you tell them. Here’s where some of those definitions come in. This is why I use the word Command but some people may prefer Cue or Signal. A command can sound great but a Cue or Signal can sound a little like a request, which the dog can mean “I don’t have to do it if I don’t want to.” Whatever word you choose, keep this in mind. A dog who thinks he has a choice is one who can only choose from:
- Don’t “Come” when called
- It’s not “Drop” or “Give up” when they’re getting into something bad or dangerous
- Don’t stop jumping, eating, drinking, barking, digging, etc. when you say “No”
However you may feel about control, it is necessary if you want your dog to be part of the society in which we live. Without control, dogs often become destructive or even worse, aggressive and therefore wind up in the shelter or euthanized. I call this uncomfortable common problem “dogs who love to die.” The long and short of it is, Control Your Dog.
Control #2 Environment “Manage the environment? How am I supposed to do that?”
Well, it is clear that we cannot always control the world around us. What we can do is control when, where and what our dog is exposed to, as little as possible. This may mean controlling and limiting access in the house until they are completely house trained and limiting their independence on your property or out in the park. It can mean being more connected to your environment while you travel. A large part of raising a dog is equipped. Some environmental controls may be:
- Keeping your dog on a leash at home until training
- Using baby gates, closing doors and keeping garbage out of reach
- Keeping things off the ground that you don’t want to eat
- Bring good drinking toys at all times
- Leaving the dog park when you feel very anxious or have any sense of danger
- Cross the street or go the other way if you see a potential problem
- Controlling people who try to approach your dog without asking your permission
- Avoid dogs that pull people behind them
The main idea here is to set your dog up for success by controlling the environment and access to it so that they have as many positive experiences as possible. They will make mistakes, to be sure, but you will be there and you will have organized the situation so you have some kind of control. Guide them and let them know what is good and what is not. We are not trying to deny them access to life; we provide guidance so they will have the most access possible. Too much freedom, too soon, without the right amount of control can lead to bad habits, dangerous situations and negative experiences. All these can lead to phobias and aggression. An amount of prevention is worth an ounce of cure.
Control #3: Your emotions Last but certainly not least is controlling your emotions. I will not lie to you; This is the hardest part for all of us. We are emotional beings and sometimes we are stretched to the limit, we almost give up. Modern lifestyles keep us busy and in such a state of constant mental and physical stress that we tend to lose our cool very easily. Remember that scene in Pulp Fiction when Honey Bunny is robbing a restaurant and Samuel Jackson’s character is trying to calm her down? He said something about being like Fonzie.
“And what about Fonzie?” He asked. “Good.” Honey Bunny answers.
That’s what we need to be with our dogs. We need to be like the Fonz. We need to be cool.
We love our dogs, of course, and there are times when we want to be playful, rough house, do exciting and high things and so on. Maybe you like to cuddle on the couch and whisper sweet things into your dog’s ear. There may also be times when we need to use a steady tone to tell them “No!” The key though, is that these should be eaten occasionally. Many times, believe it or not, we would be better off not talking at all. Dogs really don’t need that much. Most of the talking is for us, not them.
“Many dogs are over-talking, over-touching and excited.” – Martin Deeley, Founder International Association of Canine Professionals
No matter how loud our words are, the real secret is the one that controls our feelings. If we are angry, sad, sad, guilty, etc., we are not in a good place to do right by our dogs. It is not a good idea to be in an overly emotional state while talking to your dog. I’m not saying you’re a robot and I’m certainly not saying I’ve mastered this art myself. It is just a very good thing to be aware of. Your dog is very aware of their surroundings and that includes you and your emotional state. They can show your feelings, push them away or scare you too much or just teach you to leave you because you are not stable. Emotion management examples:
- To calm your dog, you must be calm. Note: If you are yelling at your dog, you are not calm.
- If your dog needs correction: Let it stand as it should and don’t correct it aggressively. Stay in the “word of truth” frame of mind. You are not arguing or negotiating, you are just teaching the dog.
- Don’t take your dog’s bad behavior on its own. They are not trying to hurt you or make you angry. They are not human. They are dogs and need guidance and fulfillment.
- Don’t feel guilty or sad. If there is any justification for your fault, such as not meeting your dog’s needs, then you need to do something about it. Feeling guilty will make things worse because it reduces the time you spend and negatively affects the dog.
- Give yourself a moment, not a dog. If you catch yourself feeling angry, embarrassed, etc. take a moment. Outings don’t work with dogs; they cannot go to their room and think about what they have done.
- If you are afraid of your dog: See Control #1 and get some professional help. Find a well rounded trainer and he can teach you how to train your dog and set up a training program. It is dangerous and unfair for you and your dog to let such a relationship go unchecked.
Again, we are all only human and can only do the best we can. Hopefully the three Cs have provided you with new insight into your dog’s mind, and yours. The mind is a very powerful thing, that is not noticed by most. Who knows, following this advice may help you to not only raise a good dog, but have the ability to control your mind and emotions in all areas of life.
“Either you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford
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